Uh oh. This can’t be good.
I’m going to be on Good Morning America on ABC-TV this Wednesday morning (May 17, probably between 8:30-9). That’s not the problem. I’m thrilled to go on the show. And oh, heck no, I’m not nervous. I mean, it’s only about 13 gazillion people watching, so no big deal, right?
But what’s raising red flags is who is going to be on the show with me. The GMA producer called my publicist a few days ago and posed the question: “So, could John bring his new dog, Gracie, on the show?”
I asked Jenny what she thought. Gracie is our “good dog,” or at least she is good when compared to Marley, which isn’t saying much. But she still has her moments. She leaped up and slobbered the photographer for People magazine right on the mouth. She rummaged through the purse of an Italian television reporter who visited our home. She found my son’s cell phone the other day and took off with it across the yard. By the time we got it back — after bribing her with bologna — it had teeth punctures right through the casing. She can get a little excited when she’s around people she doesn’t know.
Jenny, of course, said, “Count her in!” Easy for her to say; she doesn’t have to be out there on national television with a wild dog racing off with Diane Sawyer’s high-heel shoe.
With just a little trepidation, I said yes. So on Tuesday, GMA will send a Town Car to our house to take Jenny, Gracie and me to New York. They found a hotel near Times Square that takes dogs. The hotel is right across from the studio. The next morning we walk Gracie across the street. Piece of cake, right?
Except for one thing. I’m still trying to figure out the potty situation. Gracie is trained to only use grass. She ain’t no city slicker. Using pavement as a bathroom…no way! How low rent! So I’m going to have to find a park or some other little patch of green earth for her. If the NYPD sees a half-crazed man racing through the streets at dawn with a plastic bag in his hand and a big yellow dog trotting along at his side, they’ll know they found me.
Wish us luck. And tune in if you can… I can use all the moral support I can get.